Almost 2 months

Well, it's almost been 2 months since Katrina hit land (8/29/05 to be exact). I thought I would give an update about how things are progressing.

I guess one of the ways you know it's better is that you can drive for the most part without dodging trees or electrical wires. That doesn't mean that it's normal or easy to get around. In Slidell and Baton Rouge (basically the only two places I've been), the population of both cities doubled in less than 3 weeks. One evening, it took me an hour and 45 minutes to go 9.2 miles. As you can imagine, I was not a happy camper. But you learn to leave early, and you also spend as much time talking to the locals learning the back roads as you do talking to them about their claims. To add to the traffic problems, there are constantly tree cutters and large trucks picking up trash. I mean Large Trucks with Large Machinery picking up the trash....and bringing all traffic both ways to a complete halt. I've learned to avoid school zones at all cost. Of course, I've never loved the little rug-rats anyway, but now it's worse since so many families have been displaced. Which means that they are not necessarily on a bus route (if there is a bus route), so hundreds of mothers and fathers are driving their kids to school...and bringing all traffic both ways to a complete halt....again.

Shopping is almost a normal event. At least, they don't have the armed military posted at the doors of WalMart anymore. And they are letting more than 10 people at a time inside the store. I really didn't understand why WalMart was doing that, while next door at Home Depot or Sam's it was a normal shopping experience. I got to where I was boycotting WalMart for their over-dramatic display of force. The grocery stores are open and pretty well stocked (except for real tortillas).

There are only a couple of restrauants open in Slidell. You basically have your choice of Chinese food or Outback. People are so eager to eat out that you can plan on at least an hour's wait no matter where you go. A lot of the fast-food places have only their drive-thru open. A big part of the problem is not enough employees. The last time that I went to Outback Steak House, they still weren't including salad with the meal. They could get the ingredients, but didn't have an ;employee to chop the lettace. If anyone needs a job, come on down. Burger King is offering a $6000 sign-on bonus, spread out over a year. I don't think that I've gone anywhere that doesn't have a "Help Wanted" sign posted. I heard that Home Depot and Lowe's were hiring at about $25 an hour. It seems strange when you know that there are so many people that need a job. But so many people left the area and don't have a home to return to. So it's a catch-22. Plenty of jobs, but no place to live or take a bath.

There's not a lot on the order of entertainment...not that most people have time anyway. There is a movie theater about 25 miles from here. No casinos in this area, which is good for me! The only golf driving range I've seen looks like bombs went off, and was being used as a labor-force application site. If you are lucky, you have television access and that's pretty much it. Of course, there's always the Daquiri Bars.

The sad thing is that this is probably as "normal" as life is going to get for a long time. It will take at least a year for people to be able to get the workers to get their houses and roofs repaired. So as insurance adjusters, we are trying to get them their checks as quickly as possible. And not tell them that dealing with insurance is the easy part of this!

Now for your personal information on me. Years ago when I was working at the hospital in Corpus, there was a little boy who got separated from his Mother (actually, she was getting her mammogram and left him safely in our play area...but he was convinced that she didn't know where he was). As he was crying, and I was trying to comfort/reassure him that Mommy would be back soon, he looked at me with his big eyes and said "My Mommy misses me real bad!"

That's probably how I feel right now. I don't know that my Mommy misses me real bad, but I need a Mommy and Cat fix. So I'm buzzing into Wimberley this weekend. I won't have the time to visit with friends, but know that they will all understand that I'm on a mission. If I was working directly for the insurance company instead of working for Lana, I wouldn't be able to leave at all. So this is a real treat for me.

Until next time.

Give Me a Break

To continue with the comments I was making about the insanity in Louisiana. I don’t notice a bunch of pure “beer joints” here, but there is a building on almost every corner advertising “Daiquiri’s”. I thought about this for a while, and decided that these signs could not be referring to the alcoholic drink that I was familiar with. For one thing, these places have drive-through windows and so they couldn’t be selling alcohol. But mainly, if they were selling daiquiris, wouldn’t there be “Martini Bars” or “Crown and Coke Bars”? Why would they discriminate against all the other drinks?

But after a while, I couldn’t come up with what these stores could be selling. So I asked a native. Once more, I got the “alien stare”. If you don’t remember this, it’s referred to in a previous email. And I was told in simple terms that they sell daiquiris…and didn’t they have that drink in Texas?

Having had that part of my curiosity satisfied and afraid to ask anymore apparently stupid questions, I decided to visit one of these fine establishments. And sure enough, behind the bar was an entire line of rotating freezers with every flavor of daiquiri that you could imagine. After sampling a number, I ordered the Tropical Breeze. As the sweet waitress gave me my drink, I expressed my surprise that they could sell alcoholic drinks to people who were obviously driving. She told me that wasn’t true, because Louisiana had passed a “No Open Container” law several years ago. As I’m still watching the drive-in attendant handing folks their drinks, I summed up my courage and asked her to explain more. (I hate getting the alien stare, but my curiosity won out!). She gave me a very detailed illustration, using the same size cup that my drink had come in. “You see”, she explained, “If the plastic lid is on the cup, but the straw is not punched through, it’s a closed container. But if you put the straw through the plastic lid, it’s not legal because that would be a open container.” She smiled sweetly, as though she had just explained a physic concept to a first grader.

I had one last pressing question. “Why would you think that people would come through here and buy a frozen drink that they are not going to drink immediately?” The dear blonde (not a stereotype…she really was!) replied, “I’m sure they are going to take the drink home to drink it”.

Sure. And that, my friends, is one more case of insanity in Louisiana.

honkers and tortillas

The only experience I've had in the past with Louisiana was New Orleans. Now everyone knows that people in New Orleans are crazy. If you live or if you even visit New Orleans, you are supposed to either be crazy or at least act crazy for the extent of your visit. But here I am in Slidell, and I'm here to tell you....these people are strange!

The first clue is their driving. I have NEVER seen more aggressive drivers. I guess aggressive is the word that I can use in polite company. From what I understand, the aggressive, get-in-your-face, and get-out-of-my-way driving is the norm. It has nothing to do with tension created by the hurricanes. It is not age related. I've had little old ladies pull out in front of me, and I think they waved as they did so. Ok, I bet when you visualize "little old ladies", you think about someone slowly turning in front of you. Hell no! These little old ladies were moving like it was the final lap of the Daytona 500, and they were in the lead...and damn sure were going to protect their lead! I assume that was a wave as they pulled in front of me, but they were moving too fast to count fingers. I do know that giving someone the finger here is a national pastime. That is one bird that is not extinct in Louisiana. Oh, and the other favorite past-time here is honking your horn. If you are moving too fast, you get honked at. If you are moving too slow, you get honked at. If the light turns green, and you don't go from 0 to 60 mph in 4 seconds, you get honked at. Sometimes I have seen people sitting in parking lots honking. I don't know if they are testing their horns for when they are driving on the street, or if it's some sort of strange mating ritual. But I do know that the only time I've come close to hearing honking like this was in Mexico, and Lousiana can beat those folks hands down.

What is interesting is that get these lunatics out of their car, and they transform into the nicest people. A lady will see you in the grocery store looking for the cereal aisle, and she's ask in a nice Southern drawl if she can help you in some way. I want to say, "Aren't you the same lady that passed me on the shoulder, cut in front of me, and had one hand out the window shooting me the finger while the other hand was honking the horn...just 5 minutes ago?" But since you are wearing a State Farm shirt, and you are afraid that they might know how to find you, you just politely thank her and get the hell out of there.

Speaking of grocery stores, that's the other place I'm struggling with Louisiana. I have been trying for over a week to find corn tortillas. Another simple thing, I would think. But you should see the look on their faces when I ask for corn tortillas. A third of them give me the "alien stare", as in "What planet are you from?" Another third direct me to the aisle with the international foods. There you find El Paso fix-it-yourself burritos (with flour tortillas in a can) and the standard El Paso pre-cooked taco shells. Can you believe that they sell that stuff? Or the last third actually send me to a tortilla display. Guess where? They are in the refrigerated section with milk and cheese! Mission Flour Tortillas in the dairy section!!! And still no corn tortillas to be seen. Now I've seen Taco Bells in at least 3 locations here. Don't these people ever think that the foods they are waiting to get in the drive-thru could be made at home? And to make these at home would only take some fresh corn tortillas and not some freeze-dried chapula shell packages months ago at the El Paso factory!!!

At some point, I am going to fly home for 48 hours to see Mom and my cats. I will be taking a near-empty suitcase. And when I return, you are going to smell masa all the way from Wimberley to Slidell. Having a real taco or chalupa every once in a while is going to be my reward from dealing with these crazy drivers.